Open adoption is often misunderstood by inquiring families. Well-meaning family and friends have cautioned them about this concept with stories of the birth mother lurking outside in the bushes waiting to grab up their child and move to Canada.

Fifty years ago, the stigma of “the unwed mother” was so overwhelming that the mother was whisked away to some “home” to have her baby and place it for adoption. The mother was told that she would soon forget all of the unpleasantness and get married to have children of her own. Often the adoptive mother would wear a pillow under her shirt or go to visit relatives in another state until “her baby came.” Then she would miraculously appear with the child. Or, she would be sainted for “taking an unwanted child.”

“The best laid plans..” With all of the secrecy and all of the planning, few secrets were actually secrets. And, no one forgot! Unfortunately, most of the children grew up feeling out of control and incomplete when a cousin spilled the beans. Even the children that knew of their adoption from the beginning suffered because their parents were given no information about the biological background.

How we have changed! Adoption has become a perfectly welcomed answer to the millions of infertile couples across the nation. And the stigma of being born “out of wedlock” is slowly fading into oblivion.

Today, Alternatives in Motion (AIM Adoptions), offers an open concept to every birth mother. An opportunity to make the plan for her child’s future, her own! She may participate in the selection of a permanent adoptive family for her child through the “Dear Birth Mother Letter” that every waiting family provides. She may choose to meet the selected family prior to the birth of the child, or at the actual placement ceremony. She may even choose to have the adoptive family present to share the miracle of birth at the hospital. Most of our families develop an ongoing relationship with the birth family which may include pictures, letters, videos, and presents.

The agency gladly facilitates these exchanges. Depending on the relationship the adoptive family establishes with the birth family, face-to-face visits may also occur.

Each of these opportunities remain the birth parent’s options. They may choose all of the options or none! Even today, we have adoptions where the birth parents do not want to participate in the selection, do not want to see the child, do not want to know the sex of the child, and do not want to meet the adoptive family or have ongoing contact after placement.

Many adoptive parents feel cheated by a closed placement; however, every effort is made by the adoption agency to secure photos and information about the birth parents to share with the child and his parents.

There are many articles, studies, and books published about the benefits of openness in adoption. Many of these will be available to you through our program.